Monday, June 9, 2008

"Take It or Leave It"

As the title of this blog states, I'm trying to have CAREER all the while being a good dad. I've had a modicum of success, but haven't had the home run yet... That is, until now.

With that said, I present to you my newest game show idea,
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

To get you acquainted, please know my show is sorta like
Deal or No Deal with some slight differences. Differences that make it much better, IMO at least.

Those differences include, but are not limited too:

1) After offering a large sum of cash to the player, rather than saying "Deal or No Deal" our host will say to the contestant, "Take it or leave it". I feel it's a little more to the point and kinda funny in a condescending way - Especially since the host will then remind the player that no matter how well he/she does, said player still won't win more money than he, as the host, is earning for that very same episode. Puts 'em in place real quickly!

2) Instead of 26 cases numbered 1 through 26, there will be 26 cases LETTERED A through Z.

2B) The $1,000,000 will NEVER be in case Y --- If Y can't decide whether it's a vowel or not, we're not letting Y have all the glory.

3) There will be no "Banker" hidden in an upstairs office with tinted glass. However, there will be a "Money Manager" behind a curtain much like the
Wizard of Oz.

4) Calls from the "Money Manager" to the host will be broadcast to the studio and home viewing audience - Additionally, these calls will be filled with expletives that are "beeped out".

5) The girls with the cases will not be super-hot model types, but rather ordinary midwestern soccer-mom types. This will ensure that male players pick cases based on actual hunches and not because they would like to "do" a particular girl.

6) If players consciously or subconsciously request cases F, U, C, and K in that order (or any other curse word for that matter) they will be arrested and fined $250,000 by the FCC. All this prior to being shipped to Guantanamo Bay where they will rot away in an underground prison.

7) Although Howie Mandel will not be hosting
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, players may not shake the hand of or high-five our to-be-named-later host either. Doing so will result in the highest dollar amount being immediately removed from play. Doing so a second time will result in a brutal beating from American Gladiators Mayhem, Wolf, Toa, Titan, Militia, and Justice - See that, cross promotion beyotches!

8) The lowest value on the board will not be 1 cent, but rather 3 cents. No reason really other than to further differentiate the shows.

9) If a player chooses to "Leave It" (similar to "No Deal") and play on, risking it all when there's only one large money sum remaining on the board, a fat black woman (Mo'Nique type) will come out on stage and try to slap some sense into the player.

10) Anytime a player screws up and loses a fortune by being too greedy, cameras will follow that player and his/her family backstage and watch as the player's family berates him/her. Divorce lawyers will be on hand. Additionally, there will be a folding table set up with various blunt objects so the families may take their aggression out on the greedy bastard.


2 comments:

cathouse teri said...

I think the greedy losers should also be forced to have the fat, black woman come live with them for a week.

It's only fair.

Fun blog, daddy-o!

Michelle James said...

hey cathouse teri, thanks for the comment. Seriously, there's all sorts of ramifications that I could set up. I think there should be some sort of punishment for wasting an hour of your life watching it too! ~tj