Friday, June 6, 2008

It's not what you think... I swear!

NOTE: As I'm just starting this blog, I plan on using a few older stories to get it going. This story is from about one year ago, but is hilarious nonetheless.

Three weeks ago, I bought my oldest son (I'll refer to him as "K1") a little red car and to say he loves it is an understatement. (See picture below)

Every single morning, we take a walk through the neighborhood - down to Melrose Ave., up La Brea Ave., across Santa Monica Blvd. and back.

What I've noticed is that he's captivated by large vehicles (buses, fire trucks, ambulances and 18-wheelers). And whenever said vehicles rumble by, K1 points to them and, at the top of his lungs, yells "truck" - just in case I didn't know, I suppose.

Thing is, he's only 15 months old and can't actually say "truck" as his brain hasn't figured out out to make the proper phonetic "TR" sound. So, while in his mind he is saying "truck", in actuality he is saying "Cuck".

And of course, while I know what he's saying, passersby think my son is screaming "Cock" AND pointing so as to let me know where the "cock" is.

Of course the embarrassment of my son repeatedly yelling "cock" is amplified by the fact that we live in West Hollywood which is, as everyone knows, the gayest city this side of... Well no where. To give you an idea of how gay West Hollywood is, it makes South Beach look like Racine, WI.

West Hollywood, California: Where bizarre is normal.

And there he is, my little man, screaming "cock" at the top of his lungs every 12 seconds in the gayest city in America.

Well, I don't need to tell you it makes daddy proud.

In a semi-relaed story... People always ask me what it's like being a dad. And I always respond the same way. It's amazing and the one thing I've found to be most incredible is that once you have kids of your own, you finally learn just how much your parents loved you... Oh, and how much they resented you.

But how could you not love this guy? He's the best thing that ever happened to me. WAY better than the stroke... That's for sure.


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2 comments:

Chandler in Hollywood said...

Wow, another blog that suffers from Laurie Kilmartin Diseaase. I thought it was a chick thing. Must be some general hetero thing. And Soro sent me here; you have a 90 day bookmark. It's funny or else. (Which I don't apply to Soro because, well, you know)

chandler in lasvegas

Michelle James said...

I have no idea what "Laurie Kilmartin Disease" is... I'm assuming that in your mind, it's not a compliment... Regardless, I think she's funny and thus, will take it as a compliment.